Hope.

When did you leave?

When did you go?

How did I lose sight of the promises He made?

Silence.

Empty silence.

Rationalization that it would never happen for me.

A lie believed.

That You wouldn’t want family for me.

A single vow.

Joy losing freedom.

To chains of unbelief.

That alone I am called to be.

Yet here, You stir.

Deep inside my bones.

With one man.

A vision of children I never thought I wanted.

Of provision and intimacy I thought I was content to do without.

Hopelessness disguised as a willing sacrifice.

Running from conversations You want me to be a part of.

Even among all my hope.

Your Holy Spirit finally casting a light on the shadows of my denial.

Forgive me.

I can see Hope being restored to align with Your will.

And I am eternally reaching in thankfulness.