Trying a different form of poetic writing today.  I still have a lot to learn, but I hope you’ll enjoy a very personal piece.  My other blog, The Writer in Me, is a journal of sorts from my “simple Christian view” of the world, so today’s piece is a poetic exploration in describing a walk that isn’t always easy.  Thanks for reading & I hope you’ll enjoy it :).

Human

How can I still be learning, when I feel I’ve reached the end?   I want to believe I can begin again, but time and age are just a broken piece of this world.  A world I strangely navigate through with awkward humor and a hurting heart.  I am all business.  My humanness I don’t dare to show.  Where did it go?

Who are you to me? And who am I to you?  Who are we? A combination of young and old.  Scared…desiring bravery, but settling for less.  Alike and different in what we run from; what we run to.  Pieces that don’t fit together, but I am still trying to force the puzzle to make sense.  I never fit into that round hole.  I have edges.  I have lines.  I have corners in which I hide.

I don’t know why I still try.  To belong here when I’m meant to be there.  Working to find a temporary home when Your light is guiding me eternally.  When I seek, I find.  When I knock, You answer.  When I ask, You give. Unless I do all these things with wrong motives.  Masking a reason for treason. Choosing blindness because I don’t like…understand…receive what I hear.

Knowing and feeling don’t always mesh, even when I know deep down there is one that knows best.  I can know before I feel, but it doesn’t mean I feel hurt, anger, disrespect, any less.  I let it go.  I look away.  Funny how much I am recognizing that I still struggle with pride each and every day.  I know to look above.  I know what is of value.  Yet, I walk in steps and emotions that don’t always take me forward; sideways, backwards, standing still…

Oh, how I am slowly beginning to see the beauty in salvation each time my humanness shows.  Each time I let that pride go.