Welcome to the first post for my poetry blog.  I’ve written poetry (mainly by hand, pre-internet days) for most of my life.  I was on fire for this art form of written expression throughout middle and high school, but naturally, the social days of college and life thereafter slowed my writing down a bit.  I’ve continued to be inspired almost daily, but my discipline to put aside routine long enough to sit down with pen and paper when inspiration strikes feigned.  I always thought “someday, I’d like to publish all the poems I’ve ever written.”  “Someday, I’d like to be the writer I always dreamt of being.”  I imagined I would be a writer when this happened or that happened in life.  I’ve come to the realization that someday has to be today, because this moment is all we’re ever guaranteed.  I won’t be a writer someday in the future.  I’ve been a writer all my life.  I am a writer today.  I begin working toward those childhood dreams now.

Please enjoy this poem that I wrote on June 26, 2007 when I went through one of the most difficult years of my life.  It was written from a place of the first acknowledgements I made when I recognized that I had somehow placed God behind a closed door on a dusty shelf in the back of my heart.  I had lost all sense of who I was and what I wanted to be.  This poem was my first step towards seeking the Lord by choice for the first time in my life.  I was brought to my knees little by little, with every tear that year being collected and used to bring me to the truth and the light.  Something more was in store.  I see it every day now, and the joy I have inside propels me forward with fire.

Something More

Adrift a midst this barren land

of empty souls and greedy hands.

I slumber to escape it all.

For just a moment in time

I let my world fall

dark.

 

Light.

Awake again and this weight of knowing

that with every breath I take

I wait for something more.

 

Something more in store.

 

This beaten path I’ve walked before

Hearing the echo of confusion regarded as a distant memory.

A slowly fading picture of dreams once forgotten

Now remembered clearly.

 

Is there something more in store?

 

Who I am is not who I was, but what have I become?

A mystery to some

Readable as a novel to another

Deeply seen by only One.

 

There has to be something more in store.

 

I know this to be true,

yet, alone I tread in this water at times wondering if the well is dry.

Before I die I want to live

Yet they say to live I have to give

My life away.

To You.

But when I do

I know it’s true.

The road I travel will be so new

And what if I didn’t bring the right shoes?

I can’t fall behind, so that I can change my mind.

Because I know that it is almost here.

That day when I fully realize

All my strength is nothing of my own.

It’s all through You.

 

Please open up my heart to You.

Where all my faith is entrusted to

Because there is something more for me in store

Once I let go of all that I know; all that makes me falsely secure.

 

God please show me what’s in store, because I can’t quite see it clearly anymore.